We Think Mariah Was Toking on the Big Fatty Blunt...But That's Just Us

prevAug. 14, 2004 - 1:19 a.m.next

"Sean, where did you hear Mariah was going to be singing the song?"

"On the internet."

"Her webpage?"

"No."

"Then where on the internet?"

"I don't know. Don't remember."

Obviously Sean doesn't surf enough to understand that you don't just listen to everything you come across on Ye Olde Information Super Highway. And for some reason I wasn't smart enough to ask him these questions before the world's longest Gay Pride parade started.

Now the idea of Mariah singing isn't really all that off. Just a few Olympics ago Whitney Houston beat her cheast with her open palm as she asked the world to give her one moment in time.

Bjork did sing, however. How did she do? you ask. Well, I couldn't tell you because Bob Freaking (I really want to cuss here) Costas and that bia Katie Couric decided they needed to comment over the singing. Talk about Bjork's dress, the athletes, the dress designer, the athletes's^* hats, Greece as a whole...really just anthing they could think of so that anyone watching would in NO WAY WHATSOEVER get to hear Bjork sing. Seriously, if I had had a rifle and B&C were within range, I would have at least winged them. Remember how I was about the alarm clock? Yeah, it was about like that. (I refuse to link to it because it was just the previous entry...finish this one and then go backwards to it!) If Bob had walked into the room offering me cash, I would have crammed it down his throat to suffocate him.

So anyway...no Mariah Carey. We didn't get Tony's Ice Cream (the best in the world) because we didn't think we'd have been back in time for her. Turns out we could have flown to Greece and back for ice cream and still wouldn't have missed seeing her.

My heart is sad for a friend.

She had this to say, which made me feel wonderful inside: i think you are a very nice boy

Holding you up to my Higher Power, joujou. Hope you get to feeling better and things work out.

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