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My Shoulder prevSept. 22, 2003 - 2:58 a.m.next The pain in my right shoulder is back greatly. I just don't get it. That is why I had surgery, right? To fix the separation? So why does the pain come back and stay for so long? And why does it sometimes seem so arbitrary?---------------------------------- To give whoever reads this some idea as to what I'm going through, here is a journal entry of mine from June 4, 2001, less than a month after my fall in New Mexico: I have destroyed my shoulder and I am alone. All the writing I wanted to do: gone. The long drives that were to show me New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, and Arizona: gone. The hope of learning guitar over these three months: gone. All the things that were my reasons for coming to New Mexico, other than the show, have been destroyed with my shoulder. I hurt all hours of the day. Sitting silent and still can be enough to bring tears; the pain comes arbitrarily and stays indeffinately. Sometimes I can carry objects with no painful result; other times the act of drying my hands can bring me to my knees and turn my stomach and I'll lie on the bathroom floor sobbing. ---------------------------------- Although the pain isn't quite as bad as it was two years ago, it is still there. Surgery was a year and 8 months ago...and the pain is still there. When I held my month-old nephew in my arms this past January in London, I realized I won't be able to hold my own children longer than 10-15 minutes at a time. I am 26 years old and will live with this the rest of my life. |