My Trip to the Doctor

prevSept. 24, 2003 - 10:37 a.m.next

"Don't worry, it's just a sprain. It will be fine in about two or three weeks. Don't even bother wraping it," said Dr. Payne (I kid you not), the E.R.* physician.

'Two or three weeks.' It's been 3.5 months. Thank you, Dr. Payne.

Anyway, my doctor today (Dr. Cox**...I'll leave it at that) says obviously something's wrong, though there isn't a fracture. He is sending me to get a bone scan! A bone scan is the step between an x-ray and an MRI. "You don't want to jump straight to an MRI, because it might not have been needed," he said as he twisted my already hurting foot into positions that God never intended an uninjured one to be in, much less mine. "Well that's great," I thought, clenching my teeth and the sides of the table in pain. "But what if it is needed? Then haven't we just wasted all that time on the bone scan? Already I'll be a week off of this thing getting healed. Come on man: hop to it!"

He (Dr. Cox) remarked that I wasn't limping when I came in. That's true, but did you happen to notice that I'm limping now, Dr. Hands-As-Gentle-As-A-Rhino?

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*= My accident was at 10:30pm or so. I got checked into the E.R. at 11pm. I finally saw Dr. Payne-In-The-...Ankle at 5:30 AM! And yet he had the audacity to remark that there wasn't much swelling at the site. NO?! You think maybe that has something to do with the fact that it's been iced for the last 7 HOURS, you quack?!?!

**= (sooo off subject) As a fund raiser for the theatre at GWU, we wanted to have a Quiz Bowl type of thing between two sets of professors. We wanted Dr. Glenn Bottoms and Dr. Tamara Cox to lead the two teams... that way we could bill it as "Bottoms vs. Cox!" We thought that would bring em!

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